Brother Dan
Bakersfield, California: Denny Burk, president of the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, held a press conference today at Buck Owens’ Crystal Palace to announce the CBMW’s latest statement.
“The Bakersfield Statement aims to do two things,” Burk said, standing next to a giant bronze statue of Garth Brooks. “First, it affirms that the CBMW has been one-hundred-percent correct in everything it has said and done up to this point, including in the Danvers and Nashville statements. Second, it condemns to the fires of Hell all who disagree.” Burk delivered these remarks while screaming at patrons trying to enter the restaurant and music hall.
The full text of the Bakersfield Statement, reads as follows:
The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood offers the following denial and affirmation:
We Deny: Any wrongdoing on our part in releasing unhelpful, superfluous, or self-serving theological statements (i.e., Danvers, 1987; Nashville, 2017; Bakersfield, 2022) that have only succeeded in driving non-believers farther from Christ.
We Affirm: Anyone who does not affirm the above is a sinner condemned to eternal, conscious torment in Hell.
The full impact of the Bakersfield Statement is unclear at this point, however after the press conference Burk was seen aggressively asking every passer-by if they affirmed the statement. One individual who asked to remain anonymous was overheard responding, “honestly, man, I’m just here for the breakfast buffet.”
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